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Now it’s time for some plot, though I’m being generous with the term: Lucy’s semi-boyfriend is acting as a courier, transporting a small silver briefcase to someone in the office building. The Game That Made Rats Jump for Joy Ed YongĤ.
#I AM NOT HUMAN I AM ROMAN SCI FI MOVIE MOVIE#
Yes, this is the kind of movie we are in for. There, he made the discovery that “The first woman was named Lucy.” Yes, that was the Australopithecus we saw by the stream. This regrettable beau (they’ve been together a week) confirms the lesson by telling Lucy, against all available evidence, that he’s recently visited a museum. This is what she meant about our having wasted a billion years of life on Earth: However much we may have evolved otherwise, some of us-even some who look like Scarlett Johansson-still date jerks as self-evident as this one. A moderately unkempt Johansson-her character’s name is Lucy, and she is a student, though the latter fact is entirely irrelevant-is talking to a chump in a beard and foolish sunglasses outside a fancy office building. Ah, but now we’re in Taipei, and we get the point. Was Johansson’s question rhetorical? Because it actually seems as though we’ve accomplished quite a lot since we were naked and furry, drinking water from streams.ģ.
#I AM NOT HUMAN I AM ROMAN SCI FI MOVIE FULL#
What have we done with it?” Flash forward to a montage of modern metropolises buzzing away, full of cars and buses and skyscrapers and clothed people engaging in spoken language. In voiceover, Johansson asks us, “Life was given to us a billion years ago.
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We watch as an early hominid, Australopithecus, drinks water from a stream a few million years ago. This is what is referred to in Hollywood as “wishful thinking.”Ģ. The movie’s first image is of a single cell, shimmying in the light then, in huge letters Scarlett Johansson then, the cell dividing via mitosis into two identical duplicates, and then four. Because while Besson has made very, very bad films in the past-most recently, last year’s The Family-this is the first time he has made a film so idiotic that the only way to properly convey its flaws is to enumerate them.ġ. If, by contrast, you plan to give the movie a pass and would like to have your good judgment ratified (or, alternatively, if you have stumbled out of the theater bewildered and seeking commiseration), read on. If you are genuinely considering watching Lucy-and I urgently recommend that you reconsider-you should stop reading now. Lucy is so idiotic that the only way to properly convey its flaws is to enumerate them.Ĭonsequently, what follows is not a review but a spoilereview. That said, the sheer quantity of inanity that Besson squeezes into his limited screen time beggars that of awful movies of substantially greater length. In its defense, I can offer only that Johansson is a moderately charismatic presence (despite playing a character who barely qualifies as a character) and that the film clocks in at a mercifully brief 89 minutes. So, too, with Lucy, the writer/director/producer Luc Besson’s mind-bendingly miscalculated sci-fi vehicle for Scarlett Johansson.
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And Broken City was utterly beyond repair. There was something unspeakably wrong with The Words. Every now and then a movie comes along that’s so beyond-the-pale sloppy, so disastrous in both conceit and execution, that it simply defies conventional analysis.